I am surprised, and a bit overwhelmed, by how quickly and unexpectedly this whole thing has come upon me, and how decidedly it has happened, and how excited it's made me. I am an indecisive person, and I usually need a lot of time to think about things, especially big things. In the span of just a few days, all of my plans for the next couple years have totally changed.

It started last Saturday with a conversation with a friend about school and such. I had recently been thinking about going to school perhaps next fall, and had even begun checking out stuff online for Early Childhood Education. I really enjoy small kids, but I realized from that talk that I don't think I would really want to work in a daycare or preschool. So I went home and began thinking about what other things I would be interested in pursuing if I were to go back to school. I thought of midwifery. In the past I had always disregarded this thought, as I knew it involved plenty of school, something I wasn't interested in or ready for. But that day I decided to look into it - why not, right?

I learned that becoming a midwife requires completion of the Midwifery Education Program, a four year University degree. I also learned that this is a very small program, is very difficult to get accepted into due to the limited size of the program, is only offered at three schools in all of Ontario, and you can only apply to one of them. A year ago, this alone would have deterred me. But as I continued searching and reading, I grew more and more excited about the possibility of midwifery. The thought of being a primary health care provider, and the responsibility that comes with that, is slightly terrifying. But the thought of helping women through pregnancy and childbirth in the context of midwifery is so exciting. (I must say, I have probably been strongly influenced, or should I say inspired, by my older sisters and their decisions to have natural births, midwives, home births and all that goes along with those things for the births of their children. I have watched first hand a few midwives work with love and care and respect for the mother's decisions, and it really is an amazing thing.)

And so I have decided to give it a go and apply this winter for school next fall. I need to start planning for this now, and so I am going to register for a night class to in order to get a grade 12 science credit, which I didn't take in high school but is a requirement for the program. I have also decided to stay at home for this year, instead of moving out as I had been planning. I feel badly, as Colin and Amanda had been counting on me renting from them, and now they have to try to find new tenants in only about a month. When I made the decision to move out, the thought of going away to school next fall was not even in my mind. But now everything's changed. So quickly.

I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much, because, realistically, there's a good chance I will not get in. Space is limited, and I'm sure many of the applicants are more qualified than I am. Just tonight however, I heard of the government's plan to increase funding to midwifery in Ontario, increasing the number of positions in the University program from 60 to 80 this year with an additional 10 new spots for next year for a total of 90. I can't help but think that perhaps my timing (or God's timing, rather) in all of this is perfect. With the program now accommodating more students, this means I will have a greater chance of being accepted. And as many people have been telling me, if I'm supposed to go to school for this, I will get in. It's hard for me to remember this sometimes. Please pray for direction as I decide which of the three schools to apply to.