Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I often think of my friends and family back home in Canada. I think of my parents - my mom, bathing old women at work and then finding some fabulous bargains on the way home. My dad, standing at a machine all day "making money". I think about Colin, jamming with Asher, or maybe watching some Voyager with his friends. I think of Shawna, feeding kids and changing diapers. She once told me that's all she does in a day, but I know that's not all she does. I think of Rachel, going through her new kindergarten cirriculem with Astrid. And I think of my friends busy with their school work, always reading something for some class, or cramming to finish some paper or other. And I think about all the good times they must be having. These are my family, my friends. And when I think of them, a little knot tightens in my chest, and I wonder if I should be laughing or crying. And I wonder how I can still be me here, when so much of my identity, of who I am, is so wrapped up in everyone and everything I left behind. And I think about how everything there continues on the same without me. And how strange it will be when, in July, I return and must fit myself back into the place I left.